I will answer these questions, since I’ve gotten more than one ask about them, but I don’t really like discussing types in regards to fictional characters. Not because fictional characters can’t be typed, or that typing fictional characters isn’t a good way to better understand type theory, it’s just that I find the conversations themselves incredibly frustrating.
Extroverted Intuition and Introverted Intuition.
Interesting article about the use of iNtuitive functions with regards to physical exercise.
If you’ve spent much time at all reading up on MBTI theory, you’ve probably seen a lot of references to Jungian functions; these are the functions with indicators such as Ni, Se, Te, etc. I’ve certainly talked about them on this blog on multiple occasions, but what do they mean, and how do you know which functions go with which MBTI type?
I am once more attacking the infinite inbox.
I’m just going to talk about all INTJ compatibility now, since clearly the world wants to know. This will be part research and part my own personal experience and observations.
![I’m just going to talk about all INTJ compatibility now, since clearly the world wants to know. This will be part research and part my own personal experience and observations.
To begin with, people generally approach the world as if everyone thinks the same way they do. The most compatible types are those that actually do think in similar patterns, but are different enough in other ways to balance out their flaws and not bore each other.
General note: men and women of any given type are not categorically different. A male INTJ functions the same way as a female INTJ. The only apparent differences would come from their socialization and personal experiences, but these are surface differences, not a matter of type.
In the most general sense, I think introverts and extroverts are good for each other. Extroverts will instigate social situations, and fill gaps in conversation. They will give introverts opportunities to be social, and bear the burden of thinking of things to talk about. Every single close friend I have ever had has been an extrovert. Two extroverts together will often try to dominate each other, and two introverts together tend to fizzle out, because neither wants to be the one to pick up the phone or think of something to say. However this isn’t a hard rule, just a generalization.
Most compatible types:
ENFP: I talked about this in detail in a previous post, so I won’t get into it all again. ENFPs are the most compatible type for the INTJ.
Potential irritations I didn’t mention earlier: ENFPs are worriers, and will make you do things like text them when you get home so that they know you made it safe. Also, they sometimes just can not understand that you just don’t have feelings about something. They can’t wrap their brains around the idea that you can have an experience and not feel anything at all. There are pros and cons to every pairing, and these drawbacks are relatively minor.
ENTP: Also discussed in that same earlier post.
ENTJ: Their funtions are Te Ni Se Fi, while and INTJ is Ni Te Fi Se. They have the same funtions, the same attitudes on each of the functions, but they’re in a slightly different order. Basically, ENTJs think just like INTJs do, but they say it all out loud and do not hesitate to take charge.
The biggest potential problem with an INTJ/ENTJ pairing is that if you come to different conclusions about things, or have different core beliefs, you will constantly butt heads. You’re both heavy on the Te, and have a certain unshakable confidence. Neither one of you will give in during an argument, because you will both be absolutely sure that you’re right and have the appropriate evidence to back it up. To use an extreme example, a Christian conservative ENTJ and an atheist liberal INTJ will never find common ground, even if they can manage civilized discussion on these topics with other types.
The flip side of this is that if you two are on the same page, this paring can be dangerous — not to themselves; to everyone else. Seriously, if these two types pair up, there isn’t a force in the cosmos that can stop them. Their intuition and analytical nature gives them a complex understanding of anything to which they apply themselves, which means they know precisely how to devastate their enemies. To quote something someone said in a discussion I was having the other day, “I know exactly which words to say that would crush [someone]. The only reason [this person] has ever won an argument is because I made a decision not to destroy them.”
On that note, I should mention that these types will feed each other’s ego. Once they realize the typical social rules don’t have to apply, they will joyously abandon them. With no Fe to raise its voice, they might decide to drop the rules they’ve made for themselves for the sake of socializing with the general population, and empathy is one of the first casualties.
To reiterate, these types are very compatible, but quite often their ideas and opinions are not. It’s probably for the good of everyone that these two rarely get along.
That said, the braingasms that happen between these two are so intense that they’re not brain fucking; they’re brain making love.
Other types of note:
INFP: I figure I have to talk about this one, since it’s the type everyone keeps bringing up. INTJs and INFPs are more compatible than not, but they’re not ideal. They have the potential to be as great as the INTJ/ENFP, but the introversion gets in the way. The difference between I and E switches up the order of their cognitive functions, so where an ENFP leads with their Ne (extroverted intuition,) an INFP leads with their Fi (introverted feeling.) Because Ne is the INFP’s secondary function, they still get on rather well — remember, INTJs are drawn to inuitive types — but having any sort of Feeling as the dominant functions makes it hard to get on with an INTJ (their Fi is all the way down in the tertiary (3rd) position.)
To put it as succinctly as possible, INFPs interpret the world by how they feel about things, whereas INTJs do it by how they think about them. You have some of the same problems that I talked about with ISFJs. The INTJ will hurt the other’s feelings without realizing it, and will be baffled by some of the INFP’s emotional responses. Arguments will be frustrating for both parties, because the INFP will want to work out their feelings, whereas the INTJ will want to focus on the facts and who was right. Fortunately, neither type is particular given to conflict, so the genuine arguments will be few and far between.
That said, INFPs use their intuition to figure out people, so if this pairing works, it’s because the INFP has figured out how the INTJ operates. In fact, the INFP might be more aware of of what the INTJ is feeling than the INTJ is themself. The INTJ can handle the INFP’s feeling side because they’re not spewing Fe all over the place.
If this pairing goes awry, it will probably end worse for the INFP. The INTJ will just get too frustrated with the situation and move on, but in doing so, they might emotionally devastate the INFP. The INFP might walk away from it believing they’re crazy for having feelings at all.
This pairing can work, but it requires an extra measure of patience and empathy from the INTJ.
General note about NFs: they will try to finish your sentences and it will drive you crazy because they’re usually wrong.
INTP: This is a pairing that, in theory, should absolutely work. INTJs and INTPs appear very similar, so one might assume that they would get on quite well, but their differences chafe rather than compliment each other. I’m not really going to get much into this one, because I have a few asks still to come that are about INTJ/INTPs specifically, but I felt like it needed a mention here since so many sites out there (mostly the ones who base their work off Kiersey) seem to believe these types are made for each other.
Least compatible types:
ESFP: The only time true opposites attract is with magnets. When dealing with people, you need a little common ground to really be able to connect. The INTJ will feel like the ESFP never thinks and never shuts up. The ESFP will be the first to label the INTJ as a sociopath.
You see, while ESFPs do have a bit of Te, it’s tertiary. They have to go through Se and Fi before they get there, and they do it all out loud. To an INTJ, this will read as a need to synthesize every experience through their emotions, never stopping to think about anything until after the fact.
You’d think Fi would be more endurable to an INTJ than Fe, but interestingly, the ESFP’s lack of Fe makes it pretty much impossible to accurately read INTJs. The supporting Fi comes across as simple self-absorption to the INTJ.
INTJs are no more pleasant to ESFPs, though. The INTJ’s aloofness makes the ESFP uncomfortable, because they’re not able to sense what the INTJ is thinking or feeling if it’s not clearly displayed. Also, the INTJ’s confidence is taken as arrogance, and the INTJ will not try to dissuade this opinion. They’ll get frustrated by the fact that they have to explain every step in their thought process for the ESFP to follow, and eventually decide it’s just not worth the effort and stop explaining themselves at all.
Also, since INTJs don’t experience through their emotion, more often analyzing the situation after the fact and only then deciding how they feel about it, they will appear to ESFPs as not having emotions at all. They’re the types that will claim that INTJs are “incapable of love or genuine empathy.”
In general, SFs are not good matches for INTJs, because INTJs are value their analytical thinking and intuition above all else. SFs will find INTJs uncaring and antisocial. INTJs will find SFs dim-witted and hysterical.
Let me just state again, though, that any well-adjusted type can get along well with any other well-adjusted type. It might be more work in some cases, but you can build meaningful, mutually satisfactory relationships with anyone. Also, these are generalizations based on function. No two people are exactly alike, regardless of type, and you might find someone of a type that’s meant to be your ideal match that you just can’t stand. You might also find a kindred spirit in someone that’s a type that should not be compatible at all. Don’t base your relationship decisions on type, just be aware of how it can effect the dynamic. We’re all just a big mess of biology and experience, and you shouldn’t base your opinions of people on just one piece of what makes someone who they are.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq22l0T4rG1qj2aqzo1_500.png)
